Voices in my head


My all-time favorite TV show ‘Friends’ has a character called Phoebe aka ‘The wild one’, who often mentions ‘the voices’ inside her head. For the show, it offered many a comedic moments. But whenever I watched it, it made me think, ‘Huh! I’m not the only one!’

    I guess everyone has their version of ‘the voice’ that speaks to them from the inside; may it be mind, heart, soul, or even the Sound of God. I have never quite understood the phrase ‘do what your heart tells you’ even though I used it frequently. I even tried to decipher how the heart can talk…, if it does, how do we hear it…, what made it a phrase… how are we positively sure that the heart would only have one opinion on a particular matter, and then when I realize that I am thinking too much, I would drop it.

   No one can deny the clueless-ness we feel out of a Deja Vu. The flashes of fragments of our life we get, out of nowhere as if we have seen them before, exactly as it happened then. They even made movies about this unexplained astonishing phenomenon. Every time I get one of these, however rarely, I tried to recover the entirety of that dream/memory with the enthusiasm and tenacity of a kid, like I would be the one who finally gets to solve the mystery.

    Every time I get a feeling that ‘hell, it would be really embarrassing if I fall down now’ and then the next moment I do, and every time I think ‘It is gonna be a sting-bad episode if I do this now’ and then it does and in many other similar scenarios, I would pledge that ‘ I have got to start listening to myself’. Instinct, premonition, intervention or revelation… regardless of why and how do they happen, often catch us off guard and we miss our chance.

    May be, these belong to the list of ‘Things beyond human understanding’ after all. But I am glad to call them the voices inside my head and thrilled to have them around! They grew dear to me, and I’d rather not have them explained to me and scare the fun out of them like ‘Sherlock’ does. I am just glad that they exist!


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