Do you ever have that thing when you feel alright knowing someone exists beside you, no matter how worse you were without them or whether you are 24/7 friends with them or not?
Well, I have been lucky enough to experience this strong veil of calm taking over me when I see some specific someones at certain points of time in my life. It is not that I am best buddies with every one of them, or even talk to them that much for that matter, it is more like them being there with me is enough – enough to know that I am gonna be alright. I know it sounds a little crazy, but it makes sense in a weird way for me. I call them my ‘Guardians’.
In high school, I had this friend – very outspoken, fun, smart and beautiful; everyone would like her in a second. Having her as one of my best friends at the time was frankly a relief because I am not the easiest person to get to know – and others wouldn’t notice that as much if she is with me (as she’d do all the talking). It was like an obvious Hollywood movie plot where a nerd and the captain of the soccer team are best friends. She was like a safety blanket I would never put off. She helped me transcend myself into a much better version of myself, even though I am sure she has no idea!
During my hectic higher secondary years, when I nearly killed myself studying (I remember my doctor being furious at my condition) and trying too hard to get into college, I met another friend, who would with one look diagnose my situation and lend a hand. I felt finally I had met someone who seems unfathomably weird to the general population, like me; someone with whom I can discuss poetry, movies, cute actors and life apparently, and do not have to explain what I meant every time I said something complicated. She is someone that I wouldn’t need a prologue or pleasantries to start a conversation with, even though it is 3 in the morning. My world is a much better place when she is in it.
I would like to go ahead and describe my college years as a more sad, less thriller version of ‘The Revenant’. It was an absolute disaster from 101. I dreaded and loathed each and every moment I spent there for the 4 years in the middle of absolutely nowhere, except when I was with my friends desperately trying to find something fun to do. There was this friend, who had a rented room in our hostel, but she seldom stayed in it as her parents’ was close enough. Whenever she came by to stay there with us, just knowing that she would be there in the next room to mine, used to give me some sort of comfort like a fluffy Teddy does. I can’t figure out to this day what is it about her, but I felt better. Somehow I reached a conclusion that maybe I thought that “huh! There is still hope for humanity after all!” when looking at her. She was good in every sense of the word.
Then there was another friend who sat next to me. She had the perfect, cozy shoulders at perfect height where I used to rest my head during the out-of-the-world boring lectures. I have often told her that her shoulder was my favorite retreat for a few precious moments of relief.
Even though my home isn’t exactly the most easiest in the planet, obviously, and I can’t actually convince them of anything from the 21st century and can’t ever win with them; all those things wouldn’t seem to matter as long as my brother is home. Even though we make each other sick with petty sibling fights and we can’t come to an agreement on Hillary/Trump or things like that, if I see my brother in his room with his games or movies all day, I tell myself that I can get through this day, it is all gonna be okay because he is home.
I am sure there are many more to whom I can never stop feeling eternally grateful for being just who they are.
Hardships are better overcome when you have a support system to fall back on. A system to be your ice cream bucket and your spoon, a glass of wine and a couch, a broad shoulder to dump everything on that you don’t want in you. Even though it sounds extremely girly, metaphorically it applies to everyone. Anyhow, I am grateful for my ice cream bucket, spoon, wine and couch……..and my guardians whom I can never stop feeling blessed with.